An unseemly spat has developed after the publication of the worthy if rather pedestrian Radio Times a couple of weeks back. Philip Glenister, the actor who characterized the heroically unreconstructed man cop DCI Gene Hunt in the splendid Ashes to Ashes on the Beeb, has ruffled the creative feathers of Matthew Graham, the man who co-devised the series and its predecessor Life on Mars.
"Fire up the Quattro" became the show’s instant catchphrase and Glenister is quoted in the RT as saying: "the writers maintain the catchphrase was their idea, but it was mine. They will dispute it but - sorry guys - put it in print."
Matthew Graham reacted preciously and petulantly on Twitter. "You will read that Phil created "fire up the Quattro" he tweeted. "He didn’t. Nor did the writers. It was me. I have drafts of Ashes going back to before he was even shown the script." He added: "Thanks Phil. Great timing mate. Thank you for that deluded ego trip - that sideways jibe, that public sneer after I sing your praises." Ye gods and little fishes, what a tragic little diddums Matthew Graham must be.
Two good friends of mine co-present a little programme on BBC 2 called Top Gear; one or two of you may have watched it. They plagiarize my smart-ass one-liners all the time, to which my response is to harrumph lightly at the television rather than tweeting about it to the world. Heavens, it is not as though "fire up the Quattro" is destined to live in our hearts and minds forever.
The "Quattro"in question is the car that DCI Hunt drives like he stole it - a 1980 Audi - a homologous road version of the all-conquering balls-out rally machine of that era. In street guise this glorious sounding 2.2 litre in-line five cylinder turbocharged all-wheel-driven wedge of Hunnery really was a huge vorsprung durch technic. I am old enough to have yearned for one, especially after watching the French rally babe Michelle Mouton getting one all sideways in the snow and ice up in the Alpes Maritine during the course of the Monte Carlo Rally.
The car I’ve most been driving during the course of last week owes much to its famous forebear. The Audi RS 3 Sportback is more than a contemporary and respectful nod. Based on the A3, the RS is something of a swan-song for the range, which will be replaced next year, I think.
Like Gene Hunt’s Quattro it’s, erm, a Quattro. It too has five cylinders and a turbo. The engine now displaces 2.5 litres and power is 335bhp, up from 220.
Hell’s teeth it’s quick. 62mph is dispatched in 4.4 seconds, while top whack is restrained by a chip to 155. It grips the asphalt like do-dos to a duvet cover and, properly driven, will see off many supercars costing five times as much. That said, at £40K it’s still a lot of wonga. Not that it matters - the UK allocation is already sold out. So why did I bother to mention it...?